How to avoid stupid arguments with your significant other

Alright, so lately I have noticed I have been getting in the most stupid/ridiculous arguments with my boyfriend. I don’t know if I myself am over-reacting (which lets face it I probably am) or if it is something important that really needs to be discussed. I myself am very argumentative and stubborn as all get out.

 Both my boyfriend and I have have our ups and downs like in any relationship. We could literally argue over the colors in the rainbow. So I have decided to do a little research on what causes us to argue over stupid things and tips to try an avoid stupid arguments. So if you are in relationship yourself and have problems like I am having, I hope this helps. Enjoy!!

How to avoid stupid arguments with your significant other:

  • Agree to Disagree??                                                                    Everybody wants that perfect relationship (I know I do) or on so called dating sights “compatibility”. But lets ALL face it, nobody in the world is going to have a 100% compatibility because everybody has a mind of their own and everyone has their own opinions. You and your significant other may agree on bigger things like marriage, children, or religion. But when it comes to the small things, just know there is no sense in going back and forth knowing all you are doing is creating more and more built up conflict.

  • Don’t be so sensitive about the small stuff-                      Okay, I know it is kind of hard, especially for the people who know exactly what they want and have to get there way, but you need to put it in YOUR mind that you WILL NOT ARGUE OVER STUPID CRAP THAT WILL ONLY CAUSE PROBLEMS. A lot of this is all mental, just take a breather and try to work on it.

  • Be aware-                                                                                       Me being a girl I know during some times of the month I am going to be extremely moody, so be self-aware and sometimes even warn your partner that you are in a bad mood. Start off with,” Hey, before you think I am mad at you I am not. I am in one of those moods and I just can’t deal with stuff right now. So I apologize in advance if I say something that does not sound like me or may hurt your feelings. Just know I don’t mean it and I love you”

  • Learn to shut your mouth-                                                        Sometimes it is just best to be quiet. I have learned over the few months that if you are both upset, the worst thing to do is to keep talking because you will end up saying things you don’t mean and make the situation much much worse then it was.

  • Try to see the other side of the story-                                    Okay, I know that you may be a little stubborn sometimes but you have to learn to look at the situation in your partners perspective. Put yourself in your partners positions. This may not be what you want to do at the moment but I promise it will help.  As for your partner, I hope he/she is able to look at your side of the story as well. 

  • Arguing over the Phone??                                                          For all of you people that basically ONLY communicate through phones. If you get in a fight and start texting about it, your emotions cannot show as if you were in person and may come off the wrong way. Try to talk in person to resolve the problem and not talk about it over the phone because it makes it worse.

  • Listen More/Talk Less-                                                             I will be 100% honest, I like to hear myself talk and I am ALWAYS saying stupid things especially around my boyfriend which really sucks. The best thing you can learn to do is keep your mouth shut like i said earlier, but try to listen more. I know it is extremely difficult for me to listen because I’m to caught up on my own opinions and prejudices. Just TRY and it can get better.

  • Be aware of your body language-                                           Believe it or not your body language has a lot to do with how your partner responds to you. Try to be more aware of how you approach things and especially how you talk to someone. I tend to scream sometimes when I am mad but that is a horrible habit I need to break.

  • Think about it-                                                                      “Think about it”, are you seriously going to start an argument about this topic, is it really worth all the trouble? If you say yes then have a script in your mind for things to say (keep in mind what can bother your partner, what makes him upset, and how to approach it with he/she)

    The Aftermath-

    * I think the worst thing to do is to bring up previous fights so try not to harp on it. Learn to just LET IT GO! Do not bring it up again especially in another argument…just don’t

I Hope this helps so please comment below if I have missed anything and I would LOVE some feedback, and remember: you are always LOVED

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